so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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