If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
