It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
