Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
