are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
