im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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