I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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