his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
