Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
