Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
