it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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