Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize