I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
