If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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