My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
