If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize