im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
