She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize