We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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