Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
