soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
