just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
