So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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