talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
