youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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