i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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