Whod you bang
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize