I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
