oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We were destined to go to rehab together
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
