operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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