This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
