Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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