I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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