17 year olds will be the death of me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
