During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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