After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
