Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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