You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
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I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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