Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
