it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
