we're blogging at a bar
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
