based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize