i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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