in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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