mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
