R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
