I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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