he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
