Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
