are you so shy because you have an std?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
