People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
