i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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