So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
