Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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