I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
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Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
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The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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