why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
