this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
