I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
