What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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