Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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