wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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