Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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